5 Strategies for Dealing with Conflict
1. COMPETE OR FIGHT - THIS IS THE CLASSIC WIN/LOSE SITUATION, WHERE THE STRENGTH AND POWER OF ONE PERSON WIN THE CONFLICT.
It has its place, but anyone using it needs to be aware that it will create a loser and, if that loser has no outlet for expressing their concerns, then it will lead to bad feelings. This strategy is, probably the best, only used where little or no further contact is necessary between the individuals or groups concerned.
2. COLLABORATION - THIS IS THE IDEAL OUTCOME: A WIN/WIN SITUATION.
However, it requires the input of time from those involved to work through the difficulties, and find a way to solve the problem that is agreeable to all. This may be hard work, especially if the positions have already become entrenched, but it is also likely to be the best possible starting point early in a conflict situation.
3. COMPROMISE OR NEGOTIATION - THIS IS LIKELY TO RESULT IN A BETTER RESULT THAN WIN/LOSE, BUT IT DOES NOT QUITE WIN/WIN. YOU COULD CALL IT A NO-SCORE DRAW.
Both parties give up something in favour of an agreed mid-point solution. This effectively results in a solution that pleases nobody very much, but hopefully will not offend or upset anyone too much. It takes less time than collaboration, but is likely to result in less commitment to the outcome because it is nobody’s preferred option.
4. DENIAL OR AVOIDANCE - THIS IS WHERE EVERYONE PRETENDS THERE IS NO PROBLEM.
This strategy is used surprisingly often and can be quite effective. It is particularly helpful if those in conflict need time to ‘cool down’ before any discussion, or if the conflict is unimportant and will simply resolve itself given time.
However, it cannot be used if the conflict won’t just die down. Under these circumstances, using this strategy will create a loss situation: there will still be bad feelings, but no clearing the air through discussion. It results, in Transactional Analysis terms, in ‘I’m not OK, you’re not OK. This can result in serious stress for those involved.
5. SMOOTHING OVER THE PROBLEM - ON THE SURFACE, HARMONY IS MAINTAINED BUT, UNDERNEATH, THERE IS STILL CONFLICT.
This is similar to the situation above, except that one person is probably OK with this smoothing, while the other remains in conflict, creating a win/lose situation again. It can work where preserving a relationship is more important than dealing with the conflict right now. It is, however, not very useful if one person, or others outside the conflict, feel that the situation must be resolved.
These five behaviours can be shown in terms of a balance between concern for self and concern for others:
